School Refusal Resource Center
Guides for parents and caregivers whose child is struggling to get to school, or has stopped going. Each one is written in plain language, cites its sources and, where it matters, is specific to Colorado. Written by the team at Mountainside Behavioral Health, a DBT and CBT practice in Greenwood Village with telehealth across Colorado.
School refusal, also called school avoidance, is when a child or teen has real difficulty attending school or staying there because of emotional distress, usually anxiety or low mood. It is not a diagnosis and it is not the same as skipping school. It is also common, and it tends to respond to early, coordinated help from parents, the school and, often, a therapist.
Start here
- What is school refusal?A plain definition of school refusal and school avoidance, the terms you will hear, how common it is and when to get help.
- What to do when your child refuses schoolA step-by-step plan for today, this week and every school morning, plus what to avoid and when to call a therapist.
- How to talk to the schoolWho to contact at school, a short email you can adapt, what to bring, what to ask for, and where to turn if the school does not respond.
- School refusal treatment optionsWhat the trials found for CBT, parent training, SPACE, DBT and medication, how strong the evidence is, and what to expect.
Understand what is happening
What school refusal is, what it is not, and why it happens.
- What is school refusal?
A plain definition of school refusal and school avoidance, the terms you will hear, how common it is and when to get help.
- Signs of school refusal
Early and established signs of school refusal at home and at school, by age, plus the red flags that need urgent help.
- Why kids refuse school
The four reasons behind school refusal in plain language, what feeds them, and questions you can gently ask your child.
- School refusal vs. truancy
How clinicians tell school refusal from truancy, why Colorado attendance records do not, and what to tell the school.
- School refusal and anxiety
How different kinds of anxiety, and depression, lead to school avoidance, why avoiding makes it stick, and what treatment targets.
- School refusal in teenagers
Why school refusal looks different in middle and high school, what the research says about teens, and what parents can still do.
What to do at home
Mornings, conversations and a step-by-step plan for getting back.
- What to do when your child refuses school
A step-by-step plan for today, this week and every school morning, plus what to avoid and when to call a therapist.
- What to say when your child refuses school
Word-for-word scripts for the night before, the bedroom door, the car, "I feel sick" and "I hate you", plus phrases to avoid.
- Should I let my child stay home?
When staying home helps, when it tends to backfire, how to check for illness, and the rules for a day at home.
- A gradual return-to-school plan
How to build a step-by-step ladder back to school, with example steps, what to ask the school for, and what to do when a step fails.
- School refusal after a break or illness
Why returns are the hard moments, and a practical plan for the week before, the night before, the first morning and the first week back.
Working with the school in Colorado
Attendance law, excused absences, 504 plans and who to talk to.
- Colorado attendance law and school refusal
What Colorado statute and CDE say about excused absences, truancy, court and chronic absenteeism, and how to document absences.
- 504 plans and IEPs for school refusal
How 504 plans and IEPs apply to school refusal in Colorado: who may qualify, how to request an evaluation, and what to ask for.
- How to talk to the school
Who to contact at school, a short email you can adapt, what to bring, what to ask for, and where to turn if the school does not respond.
- Denver-area school district attendance contacts
Attendance, mental health, Section 504, special education and online school pages for seven Denver-area districts, linked to each source.
Getting help
What treatment involves, how to choose a therapist and when more support is needed.
- School refusal treatment options
What the trials found for CBT, parent training, SPACE, DBT and medication, how strong the evidence is, and what to expect.
- Finding a school refusal therapist
What to look for, 12 questions to ask on a consultation call, red flags, cost basics and what to do while you wait.
- When outpatient therapy is not enough
Signs to ask about a higher level of care, what IOP and PHP mean, Denver-area programs, questions to ask and how to pay.
- Books and resources
Checked books, free guides and organizations for parents and educators, with an honest note on what each is and who it suits.
For teens
Written for students, not parents.
- For teens: when you can't make yourself go to school
For teens: why school can feel impossible, how to tell an adult (with a script), small steps you choose, and where to turn on a bad day.
Therapy for school refusal in the Denver area
Mountainside offers outpatient CBT, DBT and parent training for school refusal, for ages 8 and up, in Greenwood Village and by telehealth. See how we help with school refusal and school avoidance →
If your child talks about wanting to die, is harming themselves, or you are worried about their safety, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Colorado Mental Health Line (free, confidential, 24/7). If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Talk to someone about school refusal
Mountainside Behavioral Health works with young people ages 8 and up and their parents, using CBT, DBT and parent training, in Greenwood Village and by telehealth across Colorado. Consultations are free, and we will tell you if another provider or a higher level of care is a better fit. Call (720) 762-4619 or request a consultation.
If you or your child are in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Colorado Mental Health Line (free, confidential, 24/7). If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
This page is general education, not medical or legal advice, and it does not replace an evaluation by a licensed professional who knows your child. Laws, district policies and program details change; confirm them with your school district or the organization named.